ANNOYING ASS CO-WORKERS...R U ONE OF THEM? (THE PICTURE DISPLAYS 5 BUT I CAN THINK OF MUCH MORE)
I originally wrote this like more than a year ago and boy have things changed since then! I figured since its the new year we all try to train ourselves into practing good habits so if you read this and it sounds like you
dont get mad just make some improvements. Thanks
So many of you are dying to know who or what has been annoying the hell out of me....Ain't even gonna put that CRAZZY ASS chick on BLAST! The half ounce of maturity in me won't allow it. I will however touch base on certain things that may give you an idea of what annoys the hell out of me. Attention: THIS BLOG IS A GENERALIZATION WITH THE PURPOSE OF VENTING TO ALLEVIATE STRESS SO I CAN CONTINUE TO COMPLY WITH MY COMPANIES CODE OF ETHICS!
So with that said..TIME TO VENT!!
Why do we go to work? I don't know about you but it's so I can avoid standing outside of burger king shaking a Styrofoam cup with $2.30 worth of pennies while wearing a stop and shop plastic bag as my purse and 2 left shoes. oh Hell no! I need to be able to make a living for myself.
Most of you reading this have a 9-5 so for the next few paragraphs you should be able to relate. You understand that since we spend way more time at work than we do at home...your co workers are like your second family. Which isn't always a bad thing. I've made so many REAL friends from my current and previous jobs. Honestly I've always been a team player and someone in the office you can talk to BUT THERE ARE JUST SOME PEOPLE I CAN NOT TOLERATE...ESPECIALLY IF YOU AINT THE ONE DECIDING WHETHER I GET A RAISE OR IF I STAY OR PACK UP MY SHIT IN THE WHITE CARDBOARD BOX!!
My Annoying Co Worker List! ( no particular order)
1. The Sob Story Co worker-Always talking about the no good husband ,boyfriend, baby daddy who cheats and beats yet your ass still with him. You are about to lose your house, he quit his job,your daughter dropped out of college and eloped with the janitor, your mom on life support,your dog just got ran over by an 18 wheeler and you aint make bonus in 5 months and you on a written warning. DAMN IT...HANG UR SELF ALREADY AND PUT ME AND YOUR SELF OUT OF THAT MISERY!
Update: New Me says please dont hang your self rather seek counseling or turn to God he does answer prayers
2. The Allergic to Soap & Toothpaste Co worker- I have to admit at my job people are pretty clean but once in a while you want to rub toothpaste on your knuckles and BUST SOMEBODY IN THE MOUTH!
Update: The smokers may not smell but they cough like they have Swine Flu,Sars,Ebola Virus and the Bubonic Plague * searches for germex*
3. The Myspace Reporter- Ok aint no secret we all be on myspace at work but you ever had a co worker you regret adding as a friend. The kind where you call out sick and go the beach and they bring up how cute your bathing suit looked in front of your boss the next day. I had a chick ask me how many Scorpion Bowls did I drink last night in the Boardroom once. She lucky the manager was cool and admitted those were his favorite. I deleted and blocked her ass with the quickness. As long as I'm not involved in a Donkey Show wearing my company's logo tee shirt with my name badge on ...my job shouldn't be concerned with my personal life on myspace!
Update: FACEBOOK STALKER Not that different from the Myspace Reporter. Everyone pretty much has facebook even the managers. I honestly dont think its a good idea to be friends with your Boss I dont care how cool he or she is. There have been many incidents of people getting fired due to facebook status updates COMMON SENSE PEOPLE!! if you are going to call out with Pneumonia please dont update your status "Heading to the city for some shopping" TRUST ME Somebody will repeat it. Also there is no rule that says because we work together I have to add you. Seriously It DOES NOT mean I dont like you it just means Umm * thinking of a nicer term* UMMM....I just dont want to!
4. The Sneaky Eye/Computer Spy Co Worker- I have to admit I'm sometimes guilty of the quick look. Thats when you see somebody inbox full of emails from the guy in the mail room lol! There are some co workers that creep up behind you so quietly while you are working and be half way through your emails without you even knowing it. There is a girl at my job that will talk to you with one eye in your face and through the corner of her other eye she scanning your desk and computer like the f*cking Terminator. She need to cut it out before she go on medical leave for having staples in her eye. Because of this me and another co worker came up with INVISIBLE EMAILS. These are emails where your font color is white and the background is white and the font size is like 7. In order to read the email one must highlight the blank space...Like this >>STOP BEING SO DAMN NOSEY BITCH !!! MAYBE I SHOULD COPY RIGHT THIS METHOD! LOL SSEE HOW COOL IT IS!!
UPDATE: INVISIBLE INSTANT MESSAGES ARE GOOD TOO!
5.The I WAS RAISED BY WILD PIGS Co-Worker- There is nothing more annoying than someone who lacks social graces/manners.
CHEWING FOOD LIKE YOU TRYING TO KILL THE MEAT AGAIN. The CHICKEN OR COW ALREADY DIED! I was about to pull my fake hair and then my real hair out. LADIES SHOULD NOT BURP OR BELCH PERIOD! IF YOU DO AT LEAST SAY EXCUSE AND PRETEND TO BE EMBARRASSED! NASTY ASS CHICKS I TELL YOU! DON'T COME TO YOUR DESK EATING SOMETHING THAT SMELL LIKE BARBEQUE SKUNK EITHER!
UPDATE: i'm on a whole other floor now so i dont even have that problem anymore!
6. THE BORDERLINE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CO WORKER- The ugly ass dude who always stopping by your desk asking how your weekend was while looking down your shirt and got a never ending hard on. Every time you go to the cafeteria no matter what time of the day his creepy ass and Viagra stick right there behind you. You aint complain to HR because ONE: aint no body told you to wear those tight ass office pants with the hot pink thong string showing. (intentionally worn for the office cutie)Two: you can't really prove his nastiness and he's really just being nice but because you feel sorry for his ugly ass you just completely ignore him when he says hi and hopes he gets the picture.
UPDATE: HE STILL NASTY
7. The EVERYBLACK STEREOTYPE Co Worker- I ain't NO Uncle Tom or Oreo but some black people don't know how to seperate their hood personality in a corporate environment. Don't come up in the parking lot blasting the latest G-Unit Mixtape. Your doo rag matching your tie isn't dress code.
Don't have your baby father come to the job cussin out the security guard because he can't come in the building and get $20 dollars to put minutes on his BOOST PHONE! ( I wish I made that up)
UPDATE: This is like the biggest peeve ever!! Im not even gonna go in on this girl because she makes it known what block she from Ummm SMH Also I know its really hard losing someone you are close with but the whole office dont need to hear about Ray Ray,Peanut, Boodah, BigBeans getting jumped, locked up or shot. And 9 times outta 10 you aint seen Peanut since 4th grade and you in here being extra just to say you know the person in the paper IM JUST SAYING!!
8. The Trying too hard to be Promoted Co Worker-This co worker amuses me more than annoys me.You come to work 8:00am They come 7:57 ...Now they think they need a raise and new position. They do waay more work and try to make you feel like shit for not going above and beyond like them. NOBODY TOLD YOU TO CATCH A FIRST CLASS FLIGHT TO RANCHO CALIFORNIA TO RUSH AN APPLICATION. You kiss the customer's ass more than anyone else and then when the end of the month come you getting the same bonus as the lazy ass co worker. WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN PERFORMANCE! Seriously People watch out for them because they are the kind to say to your boss "Oh did Dionne go home early today because she is normally back from lunch at 1:30" NICE TRY BITCH!
UPDATE: Umm with the economy the way it is umm it wouldn't hurt to come in at 7:57 lol
But seriously some people be quick to try and throw you under the Bus. Like if there is an issue with a file come to me first dont be talking all loud and extra confused to my/ your manager. I Like how someone tried and ended up looking dumb as hell because she actually didnt know the procedure HMMMM!! i digress
9. The Can I be your BFF Co Worker- One of the best things about a job is being able to get along with your co workers.
Some co workers want to feel like they are apart of the "Outside of Work" Club! If you didn't get invited to happy hour big deal..don't take it personal. I worked somewhere once where the lady would ask everyone who wants something from Dunkin donuts except me. I ain't cry crocodile tears...I got in my own whip and drove down and ordered my Everything Bagel with Veggie Cream Cheese. I DIDNT GO COMPLAIN TO THE BOSS LIKE
UPDATE: Some people still aint get the message the first time i posted this....Call me mean but Im still Real Im sure I left somethings out umm im either immune to it or never cared in the first place
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